Bank holidays mean just one thing for many in the UK – shopping – preferably peppered with a dash of DIY.

It was sunny enough on Easter Monday and I decided to make the trip up north to that other most salubrious brand of blue and yellow:  Ikea, where the stuff dreams are made of resides.

Dazzled by the arresting display of showrooms, a lamp caught my eye and I was transfixed by it for quite some time. Another customer passed by: “You look like you’re mesmerised”. “I am a bit” I replied.  “You should have gotten one of these” she said pointing to her two legged trolley. “Then you can shop hands free – spend much more!”

I found myself in a small bedroom where two gentleman sat – one with a notepad. “How long have you been at Ikea?” the Swedish looking one asked the Indian looking one.  “27 years”.  “Do you think you’ll be here another 27?”  I’d either walked in on an HR ‘Yearly Dialogue/Review’ or an interview with the head of Ikea.  I peered more closely at the shelving.  “May we help you?” Swedish man asked.  I explained my many furnishing dilemmas and they pointed me in the right direction.

The steady din of young children screaming their heads off reached a crescendo as I arrived at ‘Kids Corner’. I clocked the enormous sign that said: ‘Children are the most important thing in the world’, impressed by the genius that thought that one up, and even more so by the strategic placement of said sign.

The cafe called, brilliantly positioned so that you could have a large sticky bun and a tea, or some meatballs and mash before descending the stairs to the only other floor that held even more delectable things for sale. Just when you thought you couldn’t go on anymore – those thoughtful Swedes offered you some respite and a chance to refuel.

Downstairs, post two free coffee re-fills I was drawn to pretty, clear vases and fake flowers. I checked my caffeine laden senses and wandered towards some cushions instead. White, red and yellow, I decided they were perfect for my sofa and added them to my big yellow bag. Were they a bit like pillows though? Shouldn’t they be more square?

Whatever. In the absence of a mansion to decorate together with the desire to show my own home some TLC, they were just the ticket.