Dahling, I’m going to get the 6” wedge shoe in the sale – why don’t you get them too Dahling?’ ‘Oh, that’s a great idea’ I replied, ‘I’ll wear them when we go out on Thursday – in fact we should both wear them, then we’ll be so tall Dahling, we can look all the men in the eye for a change! And, the bar is so close we can easily make it there from the shop’. I thought for minute: ‘The only reason I’m going to break our date is if I get a last minute call from Keanu Reeves. Wait a minute! Scrap that, I’m not going to break our date at all!’. ‘Dahling, I already broke a date Dahling: Roberto. I told him I can’t make it that night’. ‘Great, so it’s a definite!’ I cried.
‘What are you going to wear my Dahling?’ Hot Lips asked. ‘Well, I’m thinking my J Brand Houlihan jeans, my new sh….’ ‘Stop stop!’ She exclaimed, ‘You can’t wear those, it’s not feminine enough Dahling’. ‘Yes, but if you’d let me finish my love, I will wear them with my new shoes, a skinny white vest and my sexy grey top with buttons down the front…’. ‘Ah, much better Dahling’ she said, nodding her head.
‘What about make up?’ Hot Lips asked. ‘Well, I think we must both wear red lipstick so when we walk into the bar we will be noticed’, I replied and then continued: ‘But what if my new shoe falls off Dahling as I leave the bar’. ‘My Dahling’ said Hot Lips, ‘A man will pick it up and say “I must find the girl who this fits – if it takes me a lifetime!” At this point we could hardly speak for laughing. ‘That is the second scenario, my love’ said Hot Lips. ‘And, we must not vacuum on Thursday before we leave the shop; what if some man sees us and thinks we are the cleaners Dahling – and then we appear in the bar!!’
Later, as we chatted over an after-work drink I said: ‘Dahling, you did get the shoes in the sale right?’ ‘No Dahling, I did not’. ‘Why?!’ I exclaimed: ‘You said you would – we’re both wearing them on Thursday – remember?!’ ‘No, I am going to wear my long boots Dahling’. ‘What?! The Hooker ones that come over the knee you told me about – you said you would never wear them, ever!’ ‘Well, I change my mind, Dahling’ Hot Lips answered as she applied more red lipstick.
‘Don’t forget my love, we have to get to the bar at exactly 8pm so we can have the two for one cocktails’. ‘Yes, Honey. We will stay in the shop until exactly 8pm my love, then we will go on the dot to the bar’. ‘Good’ I said, ‘I may even curl my hair as well. Do you think the bar will be busy Dahling?’ ‘No, I think it will be just us Dahling – we will look so desperate!’ At this point my stomach hurt from laughing so much. ‘Let’s walk to the tube my love’ I said.
As we passed a fancy hosiery shop on the way, I spied some cute sheer tights with a cherry pattern on them. ‘Oh look Dahling!’ I cried. ‘I must have them for Thursday!’ ‘Dahling, calm down, nobody will be looking at your legs…’